Episode 67: Anastasia Corbin on Becoming an Intentional Family

home Jan 17, 2023
Anastasia Corbin knows Becoming an Intentional Family

What would it look like for you to be intentional as a mom and family?

Anastasia Corbin wrote the book on it! She's the author of Becoming an Intentional Family and co-author of When the Bases are Loaded: Encouragement for Moms to Hit a Grand Slam in Life. Join us as we talk about becoming an intentional family and how intentionality is a cornerstone in building confidence in your kids.

Connect with Anastasia on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or her website.

Anastasia's favorite time saving resource? Grocery pickup! 

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This is a transcript of the This Mom Knows Podcast - Episode - 67

 

Jennifer Uren
Anastasia Corbin is an encourager, and she loves Jesus. Anastasia manages her home and family while also blogging and providing resources that encourage overwhelmed moms to prioritize faith, family and themselves. She's the author of Becoming an Intentional Family and co-author of When the Bases are Loaded: Encouragement for Moms to Hit a Grand Slam in Life. Anastasia lives in Northern Indiana with her husband, Jonathan, and their four children. When she's not writing. Anastasia enjoys digging into God's word, singing on the worship team, or just reading a book while sipping coffee. So welcome.

Anastasia Corbin
Thank you. It's good to be here.

Jennifer Uren
Well, I'm, yeah, I'm so glad you are here. So my family were recent transplants to Northwest Indiana. And when I think Northern Indiana, I think Amish country. So tell me more about your community.

Anastasia Corbin
Yes, it is definitely Amish country, it is not unusual to be caught behind a buggy and wait for it to get a spot where you can pass them. We see Amish people everywhere. Like I don't really think about it until someone asked me about it because it's so normal to me but I also do think about it because I really enjoy reading Amish fiction. So I was thinking about it when I look at this, you know, people around?

Jennifer Uren
Yeah.

Anastasia Corbin
Our community - actually the county we live in is called the RV capital of the world. That's one of its names. And so it is definitely an RV industry. We have a lot of people come from Mexico. So our Hispanic community is also very large, which I love because I'm Hispanic myself.

Jennifer Uren
Okay.

Anastasia Corbin
So it's a really neat community. And it's been fun to even see churches grow and like our church has a translator for one of our services every Sunday and I just love how it pulls everyone into the community. So...

Jennifer Uren
That's fabulous.

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah. My husband and I moved to this area - I'm from Ohio. He is from Pennsylvania originally, and we moved here about 22 and a half years ago and we just love it. It's been fun to watch it grow and more and more people come to the community. So we love it here.

Jennifer Uren
Oh, that's neat. Now I have been to the RV Hall of Fame. So I've been there. So one of the things that you-you told me when we were bantering before the interview was that you love sitting on a beach reading a book. There's just something soothing about that sound of the water and the waves but being in Northern Indiana, do you get to the beach often? I mean, I know Lake Michigan has some really great beaches, but I'm guessing you prefer ocean.

Anastasia Corbin
I do prefer ocean, but I really come to enjoy the beach, especially because I can get there easier. We go to Lake Michigan as often as we can in the summer. Our favorite place is St. Joe Michigan.

Jennifer Uren
Yes.

Anastasia Corbin
And then the other place we really have enjoyed going is the Warren Dunes. And that's really close to the place we go blueberry picking so we like combine those two things together and yeah, we just love it. Now walking up to dunes and I may not love it all the time but my kids can do it and they just are up there. And I'm like I'm coming. I'm coming.

Jennifer Uren
Oh my goodness, I've heard you can get down really fast. And it takes forever to get back up.

Anastasia Corbin
Yes, but that part. I'm like I'm in shape, but I still struggle.

Jennifer Uren
Oh my goodness, that's fun.

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah.

Jennifer Uren
Well, today, we're gonna talk about what you know and that's really being an intentional mom. And around here, you know, we're strong believers that being a mom is one of the most impactful responsibilities you can ever have and yet at the same time, you're really more than a mom. I mean, you're a person created with gifts and skills and abilities and it's really important to nurture those. So one of the things I do is I help with home systems that help keep things running smoothly so that moms have the energy and the space to do the things that they're good at. But that takes intentionality. So tell me more about your book Becoming an Intentional Family.

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah, you touched on it a little bit, it's such a privilege for us to be parents and the gifts that we have, like, we are able to help them know that they are loved and accepted and that they belong somewhere. And so in my book, it's I like to call it a practical resource because I want it to be something people come back to again and again, like it's not just a once read, I want it to be something they come back to when they need some fresh new ideas. It's you know, becoming an intentional family and that's creating meaningful memories and building confidence in your kids and how having traditions and celebrations, how that helps build confidence in the kids. And it looks at the five different areas, it looks at family, the marriage, parenting, and then the environment of your home and then also being on outreach, being on mission with your family, like all those pieces go into becoming an intentional family. And so the book just talks through each of those.

Jennifer Uren
Okay, well, you come from a large family and you know, arguably by today's standards, you have a large family. And that's a lot of moving parts. So how do you approach getting everyone on board with that family part of being an intentional family?

Unknown Speaker
Yeah, that a lot of it really has to do with my husband and I, and what our attitudes are about it, if we come to it, positive about it excited about it, our kids are going to feel that way. Now, our teenagers might not always be excited to do things, but honestly, I think deep down, they really want this kind of stuff, they really want to do things together, even though they may not always show it, because it really does pour into them. And so a lot of it's just our attitudes about it, and how we present it like it's something we get to do. And that's something we have to do.

Jennifer Uren
Yeah, that's great. Well, one, one place that, you know, we as moms often can feel that pinch is with our time. And it can feel like it's not our own and I mean, really, it's not our own, but we find it feels that way, because we're reacting to what's happening around us, you know, from that suddenly sick child to the interruption of the phone or the doorbell. So how can moms in the throes of childhood where you are the caregiver, and you have a little more responsibility? How can they be intentional about finding that sacred space, especially to spend with Jesus?

Anastasia Corbin
I love how you phrased that "sacred space", because it really is. And it's, it's the thing we need the most to get through our days. And it really is about finding it, like making it creating it because especially when the kids are young, it is so hard to get time with Jesus and time in the Word. And it's just doing something I always say is better than nothing. So even if it means I remember those early days, even if I just read a scripture verse and focused on it all day, at least I was doing something. Praying throughout the day is another way to be intentional, it's just some of those prayers are like, Okay, Lord, I really need help right now, or, please help me stay awake, especially when they're super young, because you're not getting much sleep yourself. So and then even when they were younger, too, I used to try when they would take a nap. Or when they would have playtime, you know, when they're babies either in their playpen or in their room, I would try to make sure I got time to be in the Word. Now I-I, my kids are in a season where they don't get up super early nd so I try to get up before them and I really enjoy that quiet time, myself. And the other idea I've heard and I really, really love this is putting a cake stand on the counter in your kitchen, and laying a Bible on top of it. So the next time you're in your kitchen or walking through, you can just stop and feast on God's word. And again, it's just another way to get in the word throughout your day. So

Jennifer Uren
Yeah, interesting. And I like that, because it's very visual for the family to see this is what you're doing but it also kind of keeps it up off the counter and protected. So you know, it says a lot I'm you know, be practical here. Everyone's gonna spill so I like that. That's great. Well, another pinch with that time is this idea of quality time. And I know that-that when I think a quality time, it often makes me feel like I have to plan something to do something, you know, something that's going to make it really memorable but I suspect it's probably a lot simpler than that, so what can we do as moms to be more intentional with this time with our kids?

Anastasia Corbin
Really, honestly, it's just doing things that you're already doing. Doing it with your kids, like, for example, if you want to, like I love to go on walks, while take a kid with me, and just one kid comes out, let's go this time and just have time to talk with them. We all go grocery shopping, you know if we can do that, when they're home, take one of them along. And I found that especially with my boys, especially my oldest driving in the car and him not having to look at me, he opens up a whole lot more. And so even like cooking dinner, inviting one of them to come along and cook with you is doing just having them join in what you're already doing. I mean, like you're right, it is hard. I feel the same way about quality time. I'm like, I have to feel like after this big grand thing. But really, it's just the everyday stuff we can do with them. And when we have time, it is fun to do more like more activities. But again, somethings better than nothing.

Jennifer Uren
Yeah. And it's interesting, because just before this, I saw a post on Facebook popped up and it was talking about how they remembered when they were little and they were being read a book, they were handed two Skittles, and they savored those skittles and they loved those Skittles. And she's like, 33 years later, and every time I have Skittles, I think about reading and all this stuff and you know, so it just struck me even for this. I mean, that was quality. And it was memorable but it was, it was simple. So it was a little convicting. I'm like, okay, yeah. Go buy Skittles.

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah, and I love reading aloud to my kids. I mean, I don't do it as much now they're older because it's harder with their ages. But that's a great idea. I love that give them Skittles.

Jennifer Uren
Yeah. So when it comes to your family, and really this ministry that you've created through your writing and your blogging, what's been the hardest thing for you to keep in balance? And I imagine that when you write about being intentional, you feel this little extra pressure to still practice what you preach.

Anastasia Corbin
Yes, I remember when I was recording myaudio book of Becoming Intentional Family, I was like, whoo, okay, I got to work on some things, for sure. I think the hardest thing for me, honestly, is just managing my time. Well, like, there's different projects I have going and sometimes it'll spill over to when the kids get home. And I don't like that because then I'm distracted, I'm not fully engaged with them and so I'm really trying to manage my time better. And by the time they get home, trying to shut down all my projects, if I can, so I can focus on that and so that's been the hardest for me.

Jennifer Uren
Is keeping that. So let me ask you, because I, I've been wrestling through some of that, too, you know, like the joy of being able to work from home and do this stuff is that I can have flexibility. But I've also been a little bit challenged with this idea that they need to see who I am when I'm not mom and see that I have these things and, and start to not feel like it magically all happens while they're gone at school but start to see the let it bleed a little bit into the edges. What are your thoughts on that?

Anastasia Corbin
I like that, because, you know, especially there's this writing group I'm a part of through my publishing company, and that is Tuesday nights, and that can kind of bleed it does bleed into family time, but it's something we've talked through and they know, this is something mommy's doing to grow in her craft and to learn from other people. Yeah, and they like the kids know, different activities I have going on. I like them seeing that. I really,

Jennifer Uren
Yeah.

Anastasia Corbin
That's a good thought.

Jennifer Uren
Yeah, yeah. So,

Anastasia Corbin
It's also like, I love like, Okay, I have this going on today, I have a meeting today. Can you pray about this for me? So they're getting involved in and all the things that are happening, like through this whole process of writing the book, they've been involved in them praying about it. And I think it's sweet because then they're seeing what's going on. And knowing too.

Jennifer Uren
Yes, yeah but it sounds like you're saying, still have some boundary about that. So that they're, they're not feeling like that rules, the rules and their second.

Anastasia Corbin
Yes.

Jennifer Uren
So that's great. Well, what, what has been your greatest joy as a result into kind of being this intentional family?

Anastasia Corbin
A lot of it, you know, I grew up in a family where I didn't feel seen or known. I knew I was loved but yet I didn't often feel it. And I, I love, what the greatest joy in this is just my kids know, they know that they're valued, they know that they're loved. They may not always act like that, or, you know, say certain things, but they know that they can come to me, they know that you know, they are loved by both my husband and I. And I love, love seeing them flourish under that seeing them be confident, be leaders in their groups, like my oldest daughter, she's 16, she's on the cross country team and she actually recently got an award this week just for how much she serves and loves her team. And it's just like that, right there is showing, you know, our intentionality. She's growing in her confidence and loving on others as Jesus would. And then our son is he's got this great friend group and he, he's really good leader and getting them together, one of his friends actually moved to a different school, but he's still close enough by that. He's really intentional about getting his group of friends together. And those just neat, it's neat to see them grow in confidence and leadership. And,

Jennifer Uren
Yeah, and those are skills that they can take. I mean, you could be the fastest in cross country for an event and that's great and in 20 years you won't be but

Anastasia Corbin
Right.

Jennifer Uren
You can still these are skills you can take and transfer and always practice.

Anastasia Corbin
Yes, yes.

Jennifer Uren
Yeah, that's really I love that. Well, knowing what you know now. If you could go back to when you were a first-time mom, what is one piece of advice that you would give yourself?

Anastasia Corbin
Oh, that's a really good question. There's like, I feel like there's so much I would tell myself, I think the biggest thing would be, always make time for Jesus. Like, even if it doesn't feel like you have the time, make the time to get in the word to memorize it, to know it, so when you're really struggling, you know, turning back to it. And then even, this is something I feel like I'm still working on, it's just tapping into the Holy Spirit more like he is our helper, a gift given to us by Jesus. And we don't have to figure out things as a parent on our own or just in life. And so that's definitely what I tell myself tap into the Holy Spirit more, lean into Jesus more, don't go on your own strength.

Jennifer Uren
So we've talked a lot about leaning in to Jesus as a mom, but part of intentional family, I think is probably discipling our kids in that and that can sometimes I know for me, it feels I feel ill-prepared to do that because discipleship feels very formal and all of those things, but how, how do you guys approach that? How do you integrate that in so that your kids are nurturing their own walks?

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah, you know we do in the mornings before they go off to school, we do family devotion together. Now my youngest does it with my husband because he goes to school earlier than the other three. But we take time to do that in the morning, we pray on the armor together, because it's very, you know, we've talked about how important the armor is. And then the other thing too, once we're done with that, I just pray over each one of our kids before they go into their day. We also do family devotions in the evening. Now, over the years, that's look different. We're at a point now where our kids are doing devotions on their own. And then we come together in the evening, and we all share what we've personally learned. Okay, it's really, really cool, because we get to hear from one another share what we're learning, and also just be challenged by what each other are learning as we read the word.

Jennifer Uren
Yeah, I love that idea of separate but together. Everyone's doing it in the morning or in the evening and coming back because, yeah, our, our oldest is out the door at 6:45 and the younger two are not out until, you know, like 8:40. So there's no way we're getting them up to do family devotions, beforehand.

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah, for sure.

Jennifer Uren
So yeah. And then, this made me think too, about as you're developing and nurturing these, these great character traits, these leadership qualities, I'm under the impression and I could be wrong, but I get the impression that relationship and time together is far more important than screens. And so are screens at a minimal in your home, or?

Anastasia Corbin
They are, during the week, we try to like about 45 minutes. And sometimes that doesn't even happen depending on what they have going the weekend is a little more than that but they also have different things that they need to get done before they even can touch their screen. And one of them actually is we call them the five stars and one of the five stars is doing something to help mom. So we're really teaching them to be intentional about asking mom, "What can I do to help you around the house?" And it could be whatever. But yeah,

Jennifer Uren
Okay, what are the?

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah, screen?

Jennifer Uren
What are the other five stars? Yeah,

Anastasia Corbin
So the other five stars, okay, so they're time in the word, and we have them do a grateful journal. So those are one and then trying to remember their responsibilities. Everyone has different jobs that they do every day. And then is that five? I don't even know. I'm trying to remember.

Jennifer Uren
Do I feel like there's something else? Yeah.

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah.

Jennifer Uren
So I like that idea. A lot. Yeah, that might show up in my family.

Anastasia Corbin
It's really helpful because you know, screens aren't - in our family. It's not just you get to do it whenever, like you have earned the privilege to do it because it is a privilege to be

Jennifer Uren
Right. So yes, and that's so much easier to control when they're younger. But when they start to get into, I mean, we don't have landlines anymore. So you need a phone, if you're going to be you know, out and about, or when you get into school, and even my kindergarteners last year, everything was on the computer. And so it gets harder to distinguish what is, what is a good screen what a, you know, pleasure screen what's required and really hard to navigate.

Anastasia Corbin
It is because, you know, like my daughter who is 12, she's got like almost an hour of homework on this math game, which is, you know, math is good. But again, it's on the screen. And yeah, they do a lot more screen in schools than they used to.

Jennifer Uren
Right. Yeah.

Anastasia Corbin
Makes it hard.

Jennifer Uren
Yes, yes. Well, those are good. You've got me thinking about some good things because, you know, it's easy for those things to eek their way back in. Yeah. So well, I have enjoyed this, and I look forward to reading the book but as we wrap up one thing I asked every guest. It's very lighthearted but it's what is your favorite time saving gadget, system or tool?

Anastasia Corbin
Yeah, well, I got two things. So one thing is a grocery pickup like I absolutely love grocery pickup. It has been a time saver, lifesaver for me. You know, I use it at Aldi, Walmart, Kroger, I don't go to all three of those every week but I love the fact that they all have that. The other time saver for me is planning meals every week. And then I shop for those ingredients so that way when I get to the end of the day, I'm not like, oh, what should I have for dinner? What should we make? I've got it already planned. I've got the ingredients already shopped for, and I just go to it. And so that's a huge time saver for me.

Jennifer Uren
That's fabulous. And my favorite gadget that combines both of those is an app called Plan to Eat. And you can export your shopping list to Instacart and go from there.

Anastasia Corbin
That's amazing, I'll have to look into that!

Jennifer Uren
So we'll get into that. Yes, I will send you a link on that. But yeah, it kind of pulls it all together. So that's fabulous. Well, how can people connect with you? How can they get some of your resources? Why don't you tell us that?

Anastasia Corbin
So go to my website, which is my name anastasiacorbin.com and I - actually if you sign up I have free, a free gift there for you and then you could be part of my newsletter which I send out once a week. I'm also on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter. All the socials are just under my name Anastasia Corbin, so

Jennifer Uren
Fabulous. Well, thank you so much.

Anastasia Corbin
Yes, thank you for having me.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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